Running on Easy
It was a Saturday morning and I had just finished a 5k — 3.1 miles — with Jenn. I was feeling ecstatic and proud of her for finishing her second race event ever as a runner. But I wasn’t happy with myself because I was slower than I was last year. I felt the pressures of needing to be fast. Then I remembered how going fast the year before had gone for me.
Last year I was speedy, but it was at the expense of actually enjoying my runs. Each event I was uncomfortable on good days and straight up miserable on the worst days. I’d finish feeling like I could barely breathe, needing a good couple of minutes to recover. But it didn’t matter to me, because I was faster. That was until I signed up for a half marathon — 13.1 miles — earlier this year.
I knew things were going to have to be different this time. Sure, I dealt with being uncomfortable for 30 minutes during 5ks, but this was much further. Pushing myself that hard for that much longer seemed like it would kill me — quite possibly literally.
So off I went in early 2023 at a much slower pace, focusing on training my heart rate to stay low and really honing in on finishing longer distances while not pushing myself too hard.
And during that time I learned something you wouldn’t believe:
Running can be fun!
I started appreciating the things around me like the birds instead of zoning out and breathing heavy for what felt like forever. My brain no longer had to panic, wondering why we were running so fast and if this was the end and we were being chased by a bear. Instead, I could actually think and process the things going on in my life. Running started to become as much of mental outlet for me as it was a physical outlet.
During that time I also came to learn and accept that success was more than just who I was as a runner. It encompassed all the other things I’d accomplished outside of running.
In that time I:
Moved to a new city
Burnt out and took some time off
Got a new job I love
successfully completed that half marathon
During that first and only half marathon — so far — I ran with a group of mostly older women who were on pace to finish in 2:40. I was nervous at first, but they were the kindest people, welcoming me to their flock and providing good vibes the whole way.
While we were running, we saw a marathon runner on his way back from where we were headed to finish the whole 26.2 miles of the course — double what we were doing today. As I watched him, I heard one of the women say to the group:
“He’s in first, but he’s still not in the olympics.”
And for some reason that really put it into perspective for me.
We weren’t here to win. We were here to have fun.
So when I start hearing that voice telling me I need to be faster, I try to remind myself of what she said, saying to myself:
I’m not going to try to be an olympian anymore. I’m just going to be a runner.