Now That's What I Call (Non-Alcoholic) Beer
How I (accidentally) went sober for a year
If you were in Wisconsin last week, you’ll know we had a pretty rough heat wave; it was 85 degrees and very humid (I know that isn’t hot in other states, but that’s A LOT for us out here, and I’m a baby in the heat, so please be nice to me🥺) Luckily, Jenn and I were able to get to the beach and cool off, all while accepting that it finally feels like it’s truly summer.
Summer’s arrival always marks the usual Wisconsin/midwestern activities: grilling some brats, eating some cheese, and cracking open a cold beer. And, like a true Wisconsin Boy, I love all of these things, especially the cold beer — after a long week, it just hits different.
But I have a shameful secret that’s been betraying my Wisconsin roots; since last year, I haven’t really been drinking many beers since I became (mostly) sober. The funniest part about this is that the decision wasn’t brought on by any issues with alcohol and was merely a weird accident.
Since I started training for half-marathons, I started avoiding beers since they make me feel sluggish afterward. Plus, because I really don’t drink that much in the first place, I’m also a lightweight, and it doesn’t take many beers to have me feeling tipsy and not so great in the long run.
So, I stopped because throwing off a couple of days of much-needed training didn’t seem worth it for a couple beers, no matter how good they are.
But now that I am done with half-marathons (for now!) I still find myself skipping out on beer. The same post-drink sluggishness that threw off training is also not that fun when there aren’t running events coming up. These negative effects have also only gotten worse as I’ve aged; while nursing the occasional headache and sour stomach after a night of drinking was tolerable in my early twenties, these symptoms have only gotten worse as I approach my thirties.
But, oh, I still love the taste of beer. So, what’s a boy to do?
The answer has been right in front of my eyes since last year when I was volunteering at my local co-op, and they were selling non-alcoholic beers. But sadly, I was too stubborn to try it and thought it was a dumb idea when I first saw them. Instead, I drank kombucha and tried these weird mushroom elixirs. They were both pretty good because they sort of scratched the same itch, but they never quite scratched it completely.
So what was the answer to my beer-deprived prayers?
… It was the non-alcoholic beers I was being stupidly stubborn about.
I know, it sounds like an oxymoron, but hear me out! There’s specifically a brand I tried called Athletic Brewing that makes some great stuff. They have some sort of proprietary way of brewing that results in drinks that have less than .5% alcohol. According to their website, that’s about the same as most kombucha and that even some breads have over 1% of alcohol! 🤯
And it’s honestly the best stuff I’ve had that’s non-alcoholic so far that still tastes like a real beer. I tried a non-alcoholic version of a Blue Moon, but it tasted more like a mixer than a true beer (it’s still good, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not exactly what I’m looking for!)
I’ll admit that not every one of their flavors has been a hit for me, but a lot of Athletic’s stuff has been hitting the sweet spot.
In terms of the most beer-like drink of theirs, I’d say their Free Wave Hazy IPA is the best one. Although I’m normally not an IPA type of person, their IPA has a nice citrusy taste to it that I really like. Plus, it doesn’t have as much bitterness to it as I’m used to in a lot of IPAs (though if you still absolutely hate IPAs no matter what, I would steer clear since there’s definitely still some bite to it.)
Next up, their Atlética Mexican-Style Copper goes down real smooth with a nice lightly spiced flavor that goes well with tacos or really any salty, meaty meal. I could easily drink two or three of these in a day.
All Out is a really delicious stout of theirs that has a nice taste with hints of chocolate and coffee to it. It’s not as dark as other stouts for sure, but depending on how you feel about stouts this could be either a good or bad thing. It’s definitely more of a treat beer, but sometimes you just need a little treat.
Lastly, Athletic Lite gets an honorable mention because it tastes like a Miller Lite and, as its name hints at, really has not much to it in terms of calories. This isn’t the first beer I’ll reach for, but it’s a nice one to have if I’ve already had a couple or just want something to cool me down after being out in the sun.
As you can probably tell, I’m really digging their stuff and have nothing but good things to say about their beers. I could go on, but I think I’ll stop here before I start sounding like a commercial. My point is that it’s a great option if you’re looking for a non-alcoholic option, for whatever reason that may be.
And even if you don’t decide to try it, I hope you found it interesting to learn about them and the stuff they do.
So, without further ado, let’s get back to drinking some (possibly non-alcohlic) beers!
