I Guess I'm 30?

Happy birthday to me! Nothing feels different

I’m going to keep this one short — as a birthday gift to me — but I turned 30 over the weekend! I thought it would be a big deal. Like I’d wake up at the age of 30 feeling like I unlocked a new part of my brain or like trumpets would go off as soon as my eyes opened. But really, I don’t feel like much has changed.

I was a little saddened by this at first to be honest, but then I realized I still have changed a lot over the past decade. If I compared my now-30-year-old self to my 20-year-old self, there would be a world of difference. I was more introverted, less confident in myself, and generally unsure of what I was doing in life.

But now I’m like Ryan 3.0! I’ve got more confidence, feel happier in general, and have a better idea of what I want out of life. And in another ten years I’m sure I’ll have more changes, but for now I’m grateful for making it to three decades.

To celebrate, I went with Jenn and my parents to a local pub that sold these GIANT burgers. Like seriously, tremendously HUGE.

The food was really good, and I ended up eating that burger for three days straight.

The next day, Jenn and I picked up some donuts and went to a local café. I got some French toast and scrambled eggs. It was light, but exactly what I needed after eating a giant burger the night before.

After that, Jenn took me out to do my favorite activity: buying CDs! She got me a gift certificate to our local record store and I picked out a couple used CDs and even a few new ones! Among them was Steely Dan’s Aja, which came as a recent recommendation from a friend of mine, and I loved it! It was a great rec so, if you’re reading this — thank you!!!!

The rest of the weekend was pretty uneventful, but that’s exactly how I wanted it. Part of me felt like I should have done something absolutely bonkers for my 30th birthday like throw a massive party, but that’s not me. I would have been miserable and regretted every second of that.

For me, getting to 30 has been a trip to learning how to do things at my own pace. It’s meant getting more in touch with myself. I think I’m doing a great job of that so far, and I can’t wait for the upcoming birthdays where I’ll learn even more about myself.

What I’ve been listening to this week

• Radiohead - The Bends

  • A coworker and friend of mine gave me a few of their old CDs they didn’t want anymore, and I was thrilled/surprised to see this was one of them. I’ve really only listened to the track “High and Dry” before — thanks to the movie 50/50 — but now I can say the rest of the album is great! It’s moody and great for driving late at night.

• The The - Infected

  • One of Jenn’s faves from The The and one of mine as well. The album starts off strong and has a great variety of sounds to this. And, just like Soul Mining, it contains the same provocative language that Matt Johnson is known for.

• Toro y Moi - Outer Peace

  • A straight bop of an album. The track “freelance” was constantly on Milwaukee’s local radio station back in the day, so it felt good to sit down with the album, reunite with that track, and nod my head along to some other great tunes.